Ad Nauseam: He Went to Jared; I’m Going to Vomit

What’s the point of advertising, the aim of a commercial? Most would say the goal is to get people to buy what you’re selling, either by overtly stating reasons why you should buy their product or at least establishing a brand identity which will eventually get you to buy it. Despite the fact I write about commercials, it’s actually very rare one will actually get me to buy something. I’ve enjoyed the Wii Madden, second generation Zune and Ask Coach Coors Light commercials, but I play video games on an Xbox 360, listen to music on my iPod and drink most anything other than Coors Light.

So at first sniff, you may think commercials have no effect on me whatsoever. Well, you thought wrong, sir–ads can have an impact on my spending habits, just not how they intend. I may be alone here, but sometimes there are commercials that are so horrendous they make me vow to never buy anything from the company which airs them. The latest company to join my boycott has followed closely the immutable laws of crappy commercials by producing ads that have a super-annoying catchphrase, idiotic people, terrible acting, saccharine-sweet sentiment and blatantly materialistic women. The company you ask? Jared the Galleria of Jewelry.